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YO MAMA, is a nice lady
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Inside my mind and shit.

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girl:  come over
guy:  im gay
girl:  my parents arent home
guy:  im literally gay


remember that girl you called fat?

she doesn’t care. at all. you don’t matter to her.

imagine that

15-year-old me:  MOM I'm practically an ADULT ugggh you never let me do ANYTHING in olden times i could get MARRIED *eye roll into another dimension*
me now:  for my birthday i want food and to stay on your health insurance


So I accidentally said, “my crotch has a hole in it.” Instead of “my pants have a hole in them.” And this guy looked me dead in the eyes and whispered

"It’s called a vagina."